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Are you a Mother or a Netball Player?

As a website owner, whose mission is to give space to New Zealand mums to be on top of their lives - essentially to live their truth - I was absolutely gutted and shocked at Sunday's (TV1) handling of their interview with Julie Seymour.

Mums have got it hard. We fight against prejudice and ideals that tell us how we should live our lives and how we should raise our children. In amongst this, we have our own internal battles with depression, mother guilt and more. We know that for many women, career options are closed down and our salaries are lowered. It is what we deal with.

So, you can imagine how thrilled I was to see that Sunday, TV1 had decided to interview one of New Zealand's top netballers, Julie Seymour. And what an inspiration she was - realistic, funny, driven, loving and guilt-ridden. Just like so many other mums.

TV1 could have used this opportunity to show what mothers in NZ are achieving. Indeed, toward the end they said "what an inspiration for young mums" - certainly I would take issue with the use of the word 'young' as Julie was in her mid-thirties and still playing, but thankfully they acknowledged how she is an inspiration.

However, I am disappointed at the stereotypes that I have fought so hard to eliminate here on Mums on Top, and what other women have done for many years.

My exceptions to journalist Ian Sinclair:

His question to Julie: "So are you a mother or a netball player?"

Seriously? We live in what century? Why on earth he felt it necessary to say that she had to choose one or the other, and set our feminist mothers back some fifty years or more. She had already admitted to maternal guilt, and questions such as these just promote an ideology of mothers that is no longer relevant.
Ian Sinclair: Wake up! New Zealand mothers are trying their best. For some it means staying at home, and for others it means the work force. And for those who remain in the workforce, this in no way belittles or demeans their role as mothers. It is a disappointing and archaic question that perpetuates the myth of the perfect mother. It implies that women who choose to have careers are somehow not mothers, or at the very least inadequate mothers.

His comment over the top of the program (voice over): "But Julie isn't ready to be a desperate housewife just yet"

Again, Ian Sinclair's personal prejudices about mothers shines through in this statement. In one breath he says she must choose, and in the next he says that if she stays at home she is desperate. Phhuuleease!
Ian Sinclair: Wake up! Not all women who choose to stay at home with their children are desperate housewives. Yes, the TV show may have influenced your perceptions, but I recommend that you actually talk to NZ mums and see where we are at. Just like mums in the paid workforce, mums who stay at home battle their own issues, their own internal battles and you, by this statement imply that stay at home mums are personifications of the unreal program desperate housewives. Women who are at home with their children by choice are making massive, positive contributions to NZ society, so rather than belittle them by calling them desperate, how about a little gratitude?

Here's a news flash for Sunday - NZ mums do NOT need your bias views. Come and talk to us. Listen to our words and our lives and you might just find yourselves surprised.

To Julie - thank you for your honesty, your laughter and your inspiration. What an inspiration you are, not just to 'young mums' but to all NZ females - mothers or not.

Tags: feminism, sunday, tv1

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Comment by Tommynomad on May 2, 2010 at 9:55am: TV figures like Sinclair make me glad I don't own a TV. Hey Ian: are you a journalist or a wanker?

Comment by Jessica on February 22, 2010 at 7:58pm: I cant believe he was that rude I thought reporters where ment to tell stories from all angles not put forward there own biased opinions. I'm sure his wife will be discusted ... "Off screen, Ian is married with two sons and lives in Auckland" LOL oh to be a fly on the wall

Comment by Lisa Crandall, ImageMe on February 22, 2010 at 9:28am: Well written Marilynn. It seems like Ian Sinclair is stuck in a time warp - but it's a good reminder that we all have to stay vigilant and pull people up on their sexism. Hear hear for stroppy women!

Comment by Nykie on February 22, 2010 at 8:21am: Do you know what..... It doesn't take one of us mums to be offended by that story either. Nigel / DH [without ANY indication of my disaproval at this point] said "What a dumb-ass bunch of questions, this is insulting!!!"...... A. I need to give my hubby more credit and B: I'm cross at how badly one of our national icons has been treated!!!!

Comment by Synergy Design on February 22, 2010 at 12:29am: I am currently struggling with the age old battle of work vs mothering. I am an at home mum, but I am also a business owner working from home too. I am always defending both roles, and I think I do a damn good job - and so do so many Kiwi mums throughout NZ. We are pressured to bring money into the home and we are pressured to raise our children. It really is not an easy task, whether you choose work or home or both. You are always battling someone with the rights of your choice! Good on you Julie, like many of us, you choose to stand up for your rights. Even in this day and age the pressure on us mums is so difficult. Too all those mums out there, you do what you know is right in your heart, we need to stick together. Thanks Mums on Top for bringing this all to our attention.

Comment by Chris on February 21, 2010 at 11:15pm: Outrageous, stupid, and bunkum.

Comment by Bex on February 21, 2010 at 10:13pm: I can't actually reply with want I actually want to say without using lots of words that i'm glad my kids can't read.
What an effingly appalling balls up of an interview, what a disgrace to NZ. Shame shame shame on you Ian Sinclair, hope you enjoy the wrath of the Mums of NZ shaming you the way that you try to shame us. You're a right wanker.

Comment by Keri - Holly Chic on February 21, 2010 at 10:02pm: well said ladies :)

Comment by Marilynn - Mums on Top Editor on February 21, 2010 at 9:57pm: Thanks ladies, glad to see I wasn't the only one who picked up on this, or who found it offensive.