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Time for the Dummy to Go - How Do We Do It?!

Our little girl is 2 next month and has been a big fan of her dummy since birth. It has been a bit of a life saver for me at times but I think she is old enough for it to go. Most importantly I don't want it to damage her teeth, at her last dentist visit they said her teeth were starting to move forward...

She has the dummy only when she is sleeping (for night and afternoon naps), and in the car. She calls it her dubby. She will cry hysterically if she drops it on one of these occassions. And gets very worked up if we don't have it for some reason.

Please could you share your tips about how you stopped dummy use with your toddlers? What is the best way?

Thank you.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jess Cordes on March 8, 2010 at 9:01am: I have the same issues with my daughter who is 2 this month. Will follow this thread.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Max's Mum on March 8, 2010 at 9:08am: I'm interested in this topic too. My boy is three soon, and I'm too soft to get rid of it. Thankfully his teeth and gums still look OK, like you he only has it for sleeps. He knows he only has two and when they get lost they will be gone for good. We tried at daycare on Friday to go without for afternoon sleep but he cried hysterically and I had to go and drop it in.

I actually don't think that there is anything wrong with him having it (apart from worrying what people think about such an old child having a dummy). It keeps him quiet when he's tired, or feeling insecure. As far as gums go, I was told that as long as its gone before the second set of teeth come through then the teeth/gums etc will go back into the right place. Thats the problem with thumb suckers, they often suck their thumbs with their second set of teeth (my sister was one of these) and thats when the teeth go out of shape.

I decided to focus on potty training first and tackling the dummy is the next problem.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by tukituki on March 8, 2010 at 9:18am: I think I want to tackle the dummy first, then potty training after 2 as she wasn't quite ready when I tried before, then at the end of June some big changes when her brother/sister arrives. How did your potty training go Max's Mum?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sarah on March 8, 2010 at 9:24am: Neither of my boys ever had dummies, but I have alot of friends whos children used them till they were even older like 4-5yo. I know the younger you get rid of it the easier it is. I think the best way is to have them throw it away themselves or my friend had her daughter leave hers out for the dummy fairy one night, and the dummy fairy left her a big girl dolly and took them away. Just a less harsh way of doing it, I mean they are giving up something they really like so replacing it with something else they will like but not rely on can help.
good luck ladies, keep us posted on how you get on.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bex on March 8, 2010 at 11:48am: aww the dummy fairy is so cute!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kristen Jones on March 8, 2010 at 9:56am: I have three children all who LOVE(D) their dummies. The oldest two are now dummy free. With my son (soon to be five), I was my goal to have him dummy free by the time he was 2 &1/2. He had just had a new sister when he was 2 and I didn't feel I could take the dummy away as we were introducing something so life changing as a sibbling. So I gave him two months and then we went on a "dummy hunt" because their were tons of them and all over the house (make sure you get them all because it is devastating to find one after the dummy fairy has been), then put them in a little gift bag and set them on the table for the dummy fairy to come in the night. We talked a lot about what the dummy fairy was going to bring, etc in the morning. My son is really into animals so we put a lion in there and I also gave him a few lollies. He was very cruisy about it and didn't cry at all for his dummy.
My daughter has a completely different personality to my son and is VERY strong willed. I dreaded the thought of having to get rid of the dummy because she would cry and throw huge fits over not having it for nap and bedtime. We were going to give them to Santa in our stockings and get lots of toys from him for the dummys but the baby was teething and I was up every two hours with her around Christmas and getting next to no sleep. I knew I couldn't listen to her cry at that time so we gave it a miss and two months later, she had lost or bitten holes in her dummy's so that she didn't like them anymore. We didn't even realize that she was dummy free for about a week because she didn't even ask for them. After about a week she did ask and we just told her they were broken. There were no tears. It is still a pain when she wakes from a bad dream, it would be nice to just shove a dummy in, but they are gone!
A friend said, she cut the tip and then cut it down every day a bit more til her son didn't ask for it anymore.
It sounds like you've already done this, but we would let our children have their dummy's whenever they wanted, so we began by saying bye bye dummy when they got up from a nap and in the morning so that they got used to not having them all the time.
Just be relaxed about it, like with toilet training they will do it when they are ready. And if you are ready and can handle the crying, then be strong and do it!
Good luck, I hope it goes well.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by tukituki on March 8, 2010 at 10:17am: Thanks Kristen, I think I am ready now as I either want to do it a while before baby is born, or once I have gotten used to having a newborn and a toddler. It makes sense to do it now I think. I'm not sure she'd understand if I said the dummy fairy is coming though, could she be a little too young? I'm good at being strong willed about things, I just can't stand the thought of her screaming in the car! At home, at least I can just close her bedroom door and know she'll eventually fall asleep. I think there are only 2 left, one in the car, one in her cot. But I do plan to start the newborn on them too...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kristen Jones on March 8, 2010 at 11:01am: Use a different type of dummy for the newborn and then the 2 year old might not want it. I used your basic tommy tippy with the two year old, but a cherry teat for the baby. I tried giving the 2 year old the babies dummy out of desperation one day and she threw it on the ground. It depends on the newborn though because none of my babies liked the silcone ones they wanted the latex. The car is an enclosed space and I hate having them scream in the car, too.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Rebecca on March 8, 2010 at 10:55am: my son let go of his dummies quite easily, partly because they came to a natural end by developing holes in them ... as each one got a hole we just said oh well, it's broken, has to go in the rubbish, and he accepted this quite easily as i recall ...

i have a friend whose wee boy was very attached to his dummies, and what they did was set a date to give them all to the baby monkeys at the zoo (i don't think they really did this, but i'm not 100% sure! so it was an effective story, if even an adult half believes it!!!). he was very taken with this idea, and they were able to visit the zoo a couple of times and talk about it lots etc before D day, as it were. i think this worked really well for them.

i think the child needs some kind of explanation about what is happening to the dummies, one way or another, no matter how old they are. "Broken" might be easier to understand than the dummy fairy for an under two ... i'm sure you will come up with something that works well for your littlie :O); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Rebecca on March 8, 2010 at 10:57am: PS i do think, above all, you have to settle on a plan and stick with it - no going back to dummies after they have all been gotten rid of, or going out in desperation and buying a new one when she's having a meltdown ...!!!! this might give temporary relief but i think it would be mean as it's just prolonging the agony, and making the child think if they make enough fuss for long enough they will get their dummy back. and that would be a baaaaaaaaad idea ...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by tukituki on March 8, 2010 at 2:50pm: I think she understands the broken term, and also rubbish so we could work with that. She has quite an attachment to one of her soft toys (kiwi), so maybe if I brought him to the car she would be better. In actual fact the dummies are pretty much broken, they have deflated but she doesn't seem to mind! I will talk it through with my husband so we can work out the best approach. I did get her a toy today that could be from the dummy fairy if we go that way, but if not she can have it on her birthday. Its tricky but I think the longer we leave it the harder it will become. Once we have worked out the best plan no going back either. I'll have to look under the couches and in the toy box to make sure there are none left! Our little girl never liked the silicone dummies either, only the latex tommy tippee ones.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Rebecca on March 8, 2010 at 4:54pm: ha ha, i have just remembered that when my now 22 year old nephew was little, his father took his one remaining dummy while they were out driving, whipped it out of his mouth and bam! threw it out the car window. a bit brutal, but i guess it worked ... ryan had seen for himself the dummy flying out the moving car window, so he knew it was really gone!; ▶ Reply to This